you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize
