google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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