two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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