Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
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