Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
