i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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