I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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