i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Randomize
