Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
