Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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