i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
