ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
