nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
