you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
