we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
