Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
