There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
