Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
