I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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