I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
