I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
