On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
no you cant smoke seaweed
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
