You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
