i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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