Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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