Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just gargled with NyQuil
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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