the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
