was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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