didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
