Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
