I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
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