fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
What a dumb baby whore.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
