ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
