I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
