Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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