I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
