we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
