Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
