My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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