You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
