Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
