Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
