I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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