I look better un-naked...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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