i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
