you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
