Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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