Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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