So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
