He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
last night I used snow as a chaser
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
