Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
