I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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