He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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