My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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