Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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